I'm gonna grow up deprived.

I've got no more grandparents left.

{eDiT}

I think.. I'm gonna change my xanga to a name that suits.. k? I'll post the link after I'm done.

Here it is: www.xanga.com/xX_CrystalizedSorrow_Xx

K - You like to try new things.
H - You are not judgemental.
R - You are a social butterfly.
Y - You cause a lot of trouble.
S - You are very broad-minded.
T - You have an attitude, a big one.
A - You can be very quiet when you have something on your mind
N - You like to work, but you always want a break.

Errr... I got this from my cousin. Uhhm.. I don't think I'm a social butterfly... Do I really have an attitude? O.O! Not much to say.. Cousins are here... I haven't really talked to them. I don't plan to. Kinda sad really.

~> Peace and other such concepts.

Took this quiz from Myra's xanga.

Your soul is bound to the Solitary Rose: The Alone. "When I wake up alone, the shades are still drawn on the cold window pane so they cast their lines on my bed and lines on my face." The Solitary Rose is associated with loneliness, melancholy, and patience. It is governed by the goddess Merope and its sign is The Sword, or Unrequited Love. As a Solitary Rose, you may be summed up as a hopeless romantic. You desire love and have so much love to give, but things just never seem to work out the way you want them to. In life, you can be very optomistic, even when things are gray and nothing works out to your expectations.

Nothing much to say... then again it is 2:25 in the morning. I added the scrolling marque above my banner. I might change it for something that will scroll upwards instead of side-to-side. I'll have to think about it.

Some people asked me how I was feeling... I guess I'm okay? I don't know. I don't feel anything. Sure, I feel kinda sad. But I'm more concerened with my own life. Is that so wrong? I didn't really know her. But is that just an excuse? I don't know. I've lost control on my life. Everything is just getting out of hand. Family is dying, my parents are fighting, school work burying me alive, and I still love him. What do I do? I know. Some people have it worse. I shouldn't be talking. I need to be grateful. But is that the extent of my problems? Does everyone know what I go through? Does anyone really know what someone else goes through? I'm not entitled to say who's life is worse, and who's is better. Am I allowed to ask for help? Or would it be burdening someone else with my own problems? If so, then what do I do? It could be something small, and I'm seeing it only within my view. But without help, how can I go on? I suppose being here right now, I should be thankful. Happy that I'm not dead, or dying. What if I want to be dead? What then? What is there to be grateful about, if I want to throw it all away?

Which is a better life to lead: To continue living, hoping you'll die the next day or to be dying, hoping you'll live to see the next day?

Where is the logic in living if in the end we are all to die? If we live to help others, what point will it be when they too die eventually? How the hell did I come to this conclusion when I was just ranting about a scrolling marque?

Life sucks. And I know everyone knows it.

~>Peace and other such concepts.

Hey! Merry Christmas everyone! Thanks to Jasmine, Chantel, Brittany, Erynn, Amy, Will, Noelle, and Myra for wishing me a Merry Christmas! I hope everyone got what they wanted!! I guess I kinda did? Even though *cough* did not ask me out or anything... hahaha. *huggles Blink 182 hoodie* Christmas has it's downsides but... the hoodie makes up for it, kinda...

{eDiT} 

Oh wait you know what? Forget it. My mom walks in and hears my cell phone ring. And she gets all bitchy like saying "If I see that bill again I'm making you pay for it." What the hell? Is it my fault when I actually have friends who want to wish me Merry Christmas? God. What a bitch.

{'NoThA eDiT}

Hello! I'm back from ranting relentlessly about my mom. What I got this year for Christmas... (In order of receiving)

Megan N- Beanie Baby Plush

Megan L- Reindeer Puppy

Stella- Candy Cane

Jenelle- Candy Cane

Monica- Candy

KC- Racoon Plush

Amy- Bear Plush

Secretaries- Candy, Snowman Ornament, A Cup, and Skin Softener.

Tita Armie- Sixty dollars

Tita R- Ten dollars

Tita Precie- Ten dollars

'Santa'- Ten dollars

Denise (Niece)- Blue Doll

My sister- Beanie Baby Plush and One dollar

My parents- Blink 182 Hoodie, Happy Bunny Shirt, and Mini Fridge.

Cousins and their Children- A Watch

Brittany- A Merry Christmas txt

William- A Merry Christmas txt

Myra- A Merry Christmas

Chantel- Something but she won't tell me. >_<

Wow... I got a lot of stuff. It seemed so little though... ahh. It's bad to be selfish though. Well, I wish you a Merry Christmas, if not a bearable one. ^_^

-Peace and other such concepts.